Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Lazy Discipline { public humiliation}

The latest trend in public humiliation...er, I mean 'discipline' has got to be talked about!
If I see one more child holding a sign on the street corner,  or one more video of a loud mouthed mother,  chasing her kid through thier junior high,  ranting and raving about how "dey be misbehavin', so I'm here to get dem' in check!" As they make more of a disruption and disturbance than all 800 students, I'm going to lose it!!!
Here's the thing,  in very rare cases, if the child is disciplined at home,  taught respect for others, taught compassion, taught OBEDIANCE,  in the HOME, chances are, you won't have to earn your "Mom of the Year" award from your Youtube followers,  for humiliating ( disciplining) your kids for the first time in front of thier peers.
I get that you may do all these things,  and STILL Have issues and discipline problems.
I get you may need to sit in on a few classes with your kid, or take a bus ride with your kid, but I bet you would have a better impact if it didn't involve you hootin' and hollerin' with a big, old blabber mouth about how "naughty" your child has been!
And I can almost 100% guarantee, if you do choose to humiliate your child infront of thier peers, you're relationship with them is as good as DONE.
Let's put it this way, if when Jesus was dying on the cross, for you're evil, nasty, selfish sins, and he started naming them...loudly... infront of everyone you admired or were a friend with, would you be seeking out a relationship with Him 3 days later when he rose again?
"HEY! Shaylyn! You're so selfish! You should be a better WIFE! I heard you yell at your kids,  what a joke!!! And oh man!!! I totally seen your middle finger pop up at that guy who almost ran you off the road the other day!! Haha!!! That reminds me, when you lied to your bestie about looking good in her new jeans, when you were thinking,  'muffin top!!' You're an embarressment!!! I'm so ashamed of you!!!!"

Yeah.  I'm gonna guess the magnitude and love sacrifice would NOT have had such a profound effect on man kind, had Christ screamed our offenses at us.

Annnnnd, isn't that what you want your kids to know?
The Great depth and unconditional love of Christ?
Hmmmm... aren't you the one God has entrusted with teaching them that?
So, put yourself in your childs shoes, think about the verse, "Love covers a multitude of sins" and cover.
Now,  I'm a firm believer in consequences. Sin has them. But,  in the HOME.
Not being paraded on a street corner, holding up a sign, while the 'loving' mother figure videos it.
And all the lazy parents cheer her on. Because had you taken an effective role in sin and consequences while they grew up, you would not feel the need to vindicate your parenting skills by smearing them acrossed the Internet,  screaming about how naughty they've behaved.
And lest we forget,  kids make mistakes. A lot of them.  Heck! I do! And I'm a BIG girl now!
Do you think putting it into the forever viral world shows forgiveness?

" OH,   I'll forgive you.  After I humiliate you, post it to Facebook, so everyone can see what a big stinking brat you are!!" Uhm. Nope.

It truly breaks my heart to see these learning,  growing kids,  that are going to make foolish choices,  wrong turns, and BIG mistakes get put in the guillotine,  in the town Square for people to throw tomatoes at!
They're kids. Naughty kids, yes. Kids who probably had LAZY parents who didn't discipline them when they were young,  and now the easiest way is to embarress them.
still LAZY. Yeah,  I said it. LAZY.
Make discipline intentional.  Make growth intentional.  Make your relationship intentional.

Try a few of those and you probably won't have the urge to cause humiliation submission in your kids.
Because,  although it may change the surface behavior,  it won't change the heart.
I've been embarrassed by my kids plenty of times in public for bad behavior.  It's part of growing and learning.
Deal with it. As privately as you can. Then get over it. Like Jesus did with you!