Friday, January 3, 2014

My BIGGEST disability

This may seem more like a 'tell all' journal entry, but I don't care. ( Have I ever cared?!)
As I watch the serious decline in the preservation of all life, unborn, born, elderly or handicapped, I am reminded that there was a time when all life wasn't so precious to me either.
Growing up, both my parents had many siblings, which led to many cousins and so on!
I was actually blessed with quite a few mentally challenged or disabled family members.
Everyone unique in thier own way, was a special part of our family, but at the time, I think I was a little embarrassed.
I'm so ashamed to admit that now.
I was not viewing Gods creation, the way he wanted me too.
God doesn't make mistakes. We've all heard that. And I think I believed that, for my 'perfect' little self!
Can we all just say, I was a selfish idiot?!
It was easy for ME ( key word here!) To be embarrassed or un comfortable with certain people or situations because it didn't fit my 'normal'. It was easier to make fun of, or avoid someone that might not be up to my standard of perfection.
I don't think I realized it at the time, but BOY! Oh! Boy! I see now.
There is NO one to blame but myself.
A turning point came, when I was about 20 years old.
My mentally impaired Uncle Ricky, was killed in a tragic car accident.
His funeral~
Off the hook!
He was involved in a lot of things, one being the amazing organization of Special Olympics.
So many of his special friends piled in to say Good bye. And they wasted no time telling us stories and memories of my Uncle.
Yes, in high school I helped teach kids with disabilities how to swim and I loved it, and yes, I wouldn't have called myself someone who 'shyed away from the handicap' ( ugh! I hate that word!!) But, at my Uncle Rickys funeral, I realized I never saw him the way his friends did...normal.
I never got to know him the way I should have,  or listened to him intently or reached out to him like someone who actually was proud of what he had made of his life.
I was the one who half heartily listened to his 'ramblings', cared more about what was going on in my life to wonder what he had been up too, and who would turn red when he tried to sing a long ( loudly and off tune!!) During church... making a joyful noise to his Creator, his Daddy in heaven, his savior, his ALL.
My sweet Uncle.
If I could do it again, I would.

Its been almost 13 years since he died,  but he still lives in my heart.
I view PEOPLE, not thier handicap, as gifts, thanks to him.
I think,  as a parent, if you are chosen by the Almighty,  to be blessed with a child who may need you for help,  everyday for the rest of your lives, YOU are BLESSED.
Not everyone could handle such a task. But God picked you.
What an amazing GIFT.
Yes, I said GIFT, because ALL good and perfect things come from our father in heaven.
So, whether you are dealing with autism, mentally handicapped, physically handicapped, or anything that our world says, " Toss IT! No one can LOVE that!!!"
YES YOU CAN.
Don't listen.
know, there are mom's like me,  who see you struggling in the grocery store, who see you wore out and exhausted, who see you frail under the weight of the confusion and heartache of the 'what ifs' and are screaming from our hearts,  " You are amazing!!!! You can do it!!! God be with her!!! God give her mercies new every morning!!!! Bless her, Lord for chosing LIFE!!! Thank you, Jesus for earthly angels in the form of mothers with children with special needs!!!" We are rootin' and praying for you,  O' blessed, among woman!
Don't give up.
And thank you.
No body else could do what you're doing, thats why God.picked.you!!!!
These Children are precious and loved and you are an example of selflessness.

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