Tuesday, July 15, 2014

How I lost my 'SuperMom' title...

A few years back, My hubs and I prayerfully considered Homeschooling.
It was such a great adventure and I enjoyed that time with my kids, watching them grow and learn and being there alongside of them.
Recently,  we also, prayerfully decided to send our 3 oldest girls to a private, Christian school here in our town. One my husband and his dad attended growing up.
Although, I know I'll miss my kids beyond belief, I really feel at peace with this decision...well, until I opened my mouth and started telling fellow- home school moms.
I wasn't expecting what I got.
It wasn't just the subtle. Like, when I posted a fb status about our excitement for the following school year and how the girls would be attending school and maybe 1
of my HS Moms could comment with a 'congrats' or even dare hit 'Like'. I got the hint.
I had betrayed EVeRytHiNg we stood for. I really didn't,  but hear me out.
It was more of the "Why on earths!" And sheer stunned looks of panic that I was literally throwing my innocent, pure of heart children into the mouths of rabid wolves.
Oh! I know! It kind of reminded me of when we first told people years ago that we were Homeschooling! Ha! Funny how everyone has an opinion, I guess I just didn't expect it from woman who claim encouragement and that their kids are better off in their care, because they can teach them how to be better people.
Of course, part of that is teaching them if you don't HS, you're half a mom as everyone who does. Right?
Thats the vibe a lot of HS Moms are throwing out there.
It doesn't matter if you prayed about it, you really should've considered how this makes other HS Moms look. Of course I'm kidding. But let's be honest,  some of you are thinking it.
I just want to clarify, I didn't sign any documents in blood when I started. I didn't barter with the devil over my soul. I did however,  realize there are things I can do relatively well, and HS is not one of them, so instead of jipping my kids on education and not being  able to help my kid who struggles, because of HS pride, I prayed and Gods guidance helped us with our decisions.  I'm not explaining this as a defensive mechanism,  because I could seriously care.less. about what people think. I'm explaining it so next time a HS family decides to send their kids, hopefully, some quick to judge comment or causual defriending won't be our knee jerk reaction. Hopefully,  encouragement and an extra prayer for that family making tough decisions will go up.
I haven't closed the book on HS. I want to better educate myself on how to teach incase the opportunity arises again, but for now, this is our aWEsoMe decision.
{& p.s. Thanks to the very few HS Moms who have loved me through this decision with prayer and encouragement.  May we all be more like you!}

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

My constant, fervent prayer...Dear Jesus, please dont let any unexpected guest stop by right now. Amen.

Pick a day.
Any day.
I feel 5 loads of laundry behind!
I am in constant "prayer" ( maybe more like 'pleading'!) With Jesus as I go about my day...
some of them go like this...
" Please help HER to not end up in juvie!"
" Help me not to yell. Help me not to yell. Help me...StOp fIgHtInG gIrLs!!!...please forgive me for yelling."
" I'm just asking you to return in your glory before I have to try to figure out what to make for dinner."
"Help the money to miraculously stretch until next pay day...which is only 9 days from now!"
" Please help HIM not to get sick from licking his fingers after he touched that turtle."

Please tell me as a mom you've offered some of these classics up?
I find myself really praying one doozy over and over again.
"Dear Sweet, wonderful, merciful Lord, if you REALLY love me, you will direct Un wanted visitors past my house. It's a disaster. I'll be embarressed. They'll think all kinds of terrible things of me. I haven't even gotten my makeup on yet. The kids hair needs brushed. Please Lord. Hear my cries!"
The other day I was praying this incredibly selfish prayer,  maybe even this Baptist girl was praying it in tongues, it was a blurr. I just know there may have been promises being made to the almighty about offering up my first born as a living sacrafice if he kept PeOpLe aWaY!
When it occurred to me how ridiculous I was being,
The verse,  " Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest." ( Matt 11:28) if my take on serving others was more like Jesus' I wouldnt be so fReAkeD out about it they seen my house messy,  or if I was a MESS. It would only matter how I loved on my company, offering rest,  like Jesus.
Now Jesus meant this in a different way.  He can carry us.  He can give us rest.  We can rest in knowing he saved us and is fighting our battles and taking all our needs into his hands.
Even the fact that I'm worried someone might stop by and see my messy house?
uhm. Thanks God!
I sometimes forget that I have 5 kids living here,  and on any given day,  extra cuties running around with them. Along with a small farm of critters! There is never a spotless, perfect moment to be at my house! Even though I wish that,  so people could stand back,  as I conquer the world and be marveled at in my Superwoman Cape and super sexxy tights ( Oh yeah! I have great legs in this vision, too!) And be in awe of my...well, awesomeness.
But, back in reality. I'm a mom. Doing the best I can, praying many prayers, recieving Gods grace in truck loads as I usually don't get it right or Mark my checklist off in a day, but rather a month! And that's ok!
So, stop by anytime!
Messy OR not ( it will be messy, don't worry!) ALL are welcome and gonna get loved on while they are here!

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Lazy Discipline { public humiliation}

The latest trend in public humiliation...er, I mean 'discipline' has got to be talked about!
If I see one more child holding a sign on the street corner,  or one more video of a loud mouthed mother,  chasing her kid through thier junior high,  ranting and raving about how "dey be misbehavin', so I'm here to get dem' in check!" As they make more of a disruption and disturbance than all 800 students, I'm going to lose it!!!
Here's the thing,  in very rare cases, if the child is disciplined at home,  taught respect for others, taught compassion, taught OBEDIANCE,  in the HOME, chances are, you won't have to earn your "Mom of the Year" award from your Youtube followers,  for humiliating ( disciplining) your kids for the first time in front of thier peers.
I get that you may do all these things,  and STILL Have issues and discipline problems.
I get you may need to sit in on a few classes with your kid, or take a bus ride with your kid, but I bet you would have a better impact if it didn't involve you hootin' and hollerin' with a big, old blabber mouth about how "naughty" your child has been!
And I can almost 100% guarantee, if you do choose to humiliate your child infront of thier peers, you're relationship with them is as good as DONE.
Let's put it this way, if when Jesus was dying on the cross, for you're evil, nasty, selfish sins, and he started naming them...loudly... infront of everyone you admired or were a friend with, would you be seeking out a relationship with Him 3 days later when he rose again?
"HEY! Shaylyn! You're so selfish! You should be a better WIFE! I heard you yell at your kids,  what a joke!!! And oh man!!! I totally seen your middle finger pop up at that guy who almost ran you off the road the other day!! Haha!!! That reminds me, when you lied to your bestie about looking good in her new jeans, when you were thinking,  'muffin top!!' You're an embarressment!!! I'm so ashamed of you!!!!"

Yeah.  I'm gonna guess the magnitude and love sacrifice would NOT have had such a profound effect on man kind, had Christ screamed our offenses at us.

Annnnnd, isn't that what you want your kids to know?
The Great depth and unconditional love of Christ?
Hmmmm... aren't you the one God has entrusted with teaching them that?
So, put yourself in your childs shoes, think about the verse, "Love covers a multitude of sins" and cover.
Now,  I'm a firm believer in consequences. Sin has them. But,  in the HOME.
Not being paraded on a street corner, holding up a sign, while the 'loving' mother figure videos it.
And all the lazy parents cheer her on. Because had you taken an effective role in sin and consequences while they grew up, you would not feel the need to vindicate your parenting skills by smearing them acrossed the Internet,  screaming about how naughty they've behaved.
And lest we forget,  kids make mistakes. A lot of them.  Heck! I do! And I'm a BIG girl now!
Do you think putting it into the forever viral world shows forgiveness?

" OH,   I'll forgive you.  After I humiliate you, post it to Facebook, so everyone can see what a big stinking brat you are!!" Uhm. Nope.

It truly breaks my heart to see these learning,  growing kids,  that are going to make foolish choices,  wrong turns, and BIG mistakes get put in the guillotine,  in the town Square for people to throw tomatoes at!
They're kids. Naughty kids, yes. Kids who probably had LAZY parents who didn't discipline them when they were young,  and now the easiest way is to embarress them.
still LAZY. Yeah,  I said it. LAZY.
Make discipline intentional.  Make growth intentional.  Make your relationship intentional.

Try a few of those and you probably won't have the urge to cause humiliation submission in your kids.
Because,  although it may change the surface behavior,  it won't change the heart.
I've been embarrassed by my kids plenty of times in public for bad behavior.  It's part of growing and learning.
Deal with it. As privately as you can. Then get over it. Like Jesus did with you!

Friday, January 3, 2014

My BIGGEST disability

This may seem more like a 'tell all' journal entry, but I don't care. ( Have I ever cared?!)
As I watch the serious decline in the preservation of all life, unborn, born, elderly or handicapped, I am reminded that there was a time when all life wasn't so precious to me either.
Growing up, both my parents had many siblings, which led to many cousins and so on!
I was actually blessed with quite a few mentally challenged or disabled family members.
Everyone unique in thier own way, was a special part of our family, but at the time, I think I was a little embarrassed.
I'm so ashamed to admit that now.
I was not viewing Gods creation, the way he wanted me too.
God doesn't make mistakes. We've all heard that. And I think I believed that, for my 'perfect' little self!
Can we all just say, I was a selfish idiot?!
It was easy for ME ( key word here!) To be embarrassed or un comfortable with certain people or situations because it didn't fit my 'normal'. It was easier to make fun of, or avoid someone that might not be up to my standard of perfection.
I don't think I realized it at the time, but BOY! Oh! Boy! I see now.
There is NO one to blame but myself.
A turning point came, when I was about 20 years old.
My mentally impaired Uncle Ricky, was killed in a tragic car accident.
His funeral~
Off the hook!
He was involved in a lot of things, one being the amazing organization of Special Olympics.
So many of his special friends piled in to say Good bye. And they wasted no time telling us stories and memories of my Uncle.
Yes, in high school I helped teach kids with disabilities how to swim and I loved it, and yes, I wouldn't have called myself someone who 'shyed away from the handicap' ( ugh! I hate that word!!) But, at my Uncle Rickys funeral, I realized I never saw him the way his friends did...normal.
I never got to know him the way I should have,  or listened to him intently or reached out to him like someone who actually was proud of what he had made of his life.
I was the one who half heartily listened to his 'ramblings', cared more about what was going on in my life to wonder what he had been up too, and who would turn red when he tried to sing a long ( loudly and off tune!!) During church... making a joyful noise to his Creator, his Daddy in heaven, his savior, his ALL.
My sweet Uncle.
If I could do it again, I would.

Its been almost 13 years since he died,  but he still lives in my heart.
I view PEOPLE, not thier handicap, as gifts, thanks to him.
I think,  as a parent, if you are chosen by the Almighty,  to be blessed with a child who may need you for help,  everyday for the rest of your lives, YOU are BLESSED.
Not everyone could handle such a task. But God picked you.
What an amazing GIFT.
Yes, I said GIFT, because ALL good and perfect things come from our father in heaven.
So, whether you are dealing with autism, mentally handicapped, physically handicapped, or anything that our world says, " Toss IT! No one can LOVE that!!!"
Don't listen.
know, there are mom's like me,  who see you struggling in the grocery store, who see you wore out and exhausted, who see you frail under the weight of the confusion and heartache of the 'what ifs' and are screaming from our hearts,  " You are amazing!!!! You can do it!!! God be with her!!! God give her mercies new every morning!!!! Bless her, Lord for chosing LIFE!!! Thank you, Jesus for earthly angels in the form of mothers with children with special needs!!!" We are rootin' and praying for you,  O' blessed, among woman!
Don't give up.
And thank you.
No body else could do what you're doing, thats why God.picked.you!!!!
These Children are precious and loved and you are an example of selflessness.