The Next Best Thing. . .

I spent so many days & years wondering, "What's the next best thing!?" Constantly worried about what I had and hadn't done. The regrets. The failures. The 'what-if's.'
I soon realized why I was always fretting over these things...because I wasn't using my life for 'the next best thing!'

I was wrapped up in myself, to say the least. I was bent on all the things I couldn't do, or was afraid I would do wrong that it crippled any capability for me to see just exactly how God has designed me to be a vessel for him. To see my God given talents and use them for his purpose and plan.

On the eve of Christmas I think of a very amazing young lady. I bet you know who. What if when the angel came to her, she dug her heels in and said, " Baby?!? You have GOT to be crazy, Angel! I am too young, unmarried, Joseph will lose his mind up in here, if he knows I'm gonna have a baby! Besides, I would be a horrible mother! I can't do the whole 'pregnancy' thing for 9 months! What if I get sick? I am a puker...I don't want to be pukin'...what if I fall off a camel? I am not a good camel rider...that could hurt a baby!"

I am sure she had some thoughts of 'Why?' But , she knew the fathers will was more important and he would refine her rough edges. Thank God she said Yes. Do you think if she didn't, Gd wold have found some one else? Who else is doing something that you should be doing?

Someone recently said about me ( and I was over the top humbled by this, and know I am far, far from there! But, it blessed my heart.) " You don't sit around waiting for things to happen, you are not content to just be lazy at home, you go out and get things done for the Lord."

I say that not to brag at all, but because I know even just over a year ago I still struggled with being in my 'comfort zone' and letting the 'next best thing' slip by and not be used by God because I was to afraid of failure.

I am here to say, I still fail...daily....man! when will that stop!? Haha! But, I LOVE IT! Every failure is God teaching me and growing me and I cannot get enough!!! I know he loves me even when I fail and fall, but I refuse to sit back, complacent, letting all the best things that come with being in love with my savior, skip me by!

" Don't be afraid of what you will miss out on if you surrender your life to Jesus, be afraid of what you will miss out on if you don't!"

Merry Christmas!

p.s. I know why God would not have picked a gal like me to carry baby Jesus...I would have cut a hole in my cloak around my pregnant belly and charged $5.00 to rub the unborn baby Jesus!

Expect the Unexpected when you are expecting...

So, you peed on the stick and it said, "YAY! You're going to be a responsible adult!" Ok, maybe it just read " Pregnant". Brace yourself, you're in for a wild ride!

I remember finding out that I was pregnant with our first ( 1 of 5 ) girls. I was so excited, nervous, scared, happy, giddy, in amazement...emotional? yes. Much like a pregnant woman would be!

I went into it thinking, ' My bellies gonna get really big, and in 9 months a babys gonna come out and we'll live happily ever after!'

Well, at around week 9, I started puking...and puking...dry heaving...and puking...What was this?!? A precious, warm little baby sent from God above was wreaking havoc on my body! She was probably the size of an M&M and was controlling what I ate and how I digested it! I imagined a small, naked baby sitting at a control booth, laughing evilly as she would press a button that punched me in the stomach!

It got better...Charlie horses during the night while I slept, Restless leg syndrome, ankles? Who needs ankles when you can get these new ones called, 'cankles!' My teeth hurt, my butt hurt, my skin hurt from being stretched to its maxium limit! At 8 months I thought proudly as I looked at the top part of my belly, " Yay for me! No stretchmarks!" Who invented long mirrors? They should be tracked down by a pack of wild pregnant woman, full of unsightly stretchmarks and beaten with burp rags! I couldn't see the stretch marks because I wasn' looking at my calves, butt, hips, boobs and under belly!!!! Forget the tube of 'Mederma Stretchmark cream', I need a GALLON!!!

Then there is labor and delivery. I knew it was going to hurt...but YEE-OUCH! I am not a cursin' woman, but Sweet Jesus...I wanted ( didn't...but, wanted too!) swear like a trucker!

Why didn't someone tell me it hurt so bad? So, so, so BAD!!!!

AND why didn't someone tell me that Para cervical blocks can wear off? And it may be too late to take anything else for pain? And the pure joy of an epidural!?! WHY?WHY?WHY?

And no ever prepares you for this one......holding your whimpering, warm, wet, snugly baby in your arms for the first time. Nothing, nothing in this world can compare to that precious grip there tiny life takes on your heart and squeezes until you feel like you would die if they even got the teeniest of boo-boo's...

I wonder what Mary thought the night she had Baby Jesus. We have heard all the songs that describe beautifully her love and experience with her son, but what was she really feeling?

Was she thinking some of the same things we thought about?

Can you imagine giving birth, surrounded by animals? Their smells and sounds? The hay and the uncomfortableness of the stable? The embarresment of a private act taking place in a stable? The horror she must have felt when turned away by the Inn. Can you imagine? I couldn't. If someone came to my house about to deliver, I could never turn them out to our shed, no matter how many people where in my house.

That's just all apart of the beauty of our humble savior. From cradle to grave. Humble beginnings and even more humble end, as he hung beaten and harassed on the cross, naked and wounded for what? For us.

That's the most precious gift you could get this Christmas. Or maybe you need to show someone of the gift of Christ and what it has meant in your life.

There is no love or gift better than Him...

 Brooklyn

Baby Halle

Baby Layla

Baby Breelia

Flip-floppers, mud slingers, dirty politics and corrupt goverment ~ all them there fancy words that lead up to ONE historic day, Nov.2nd

POLITICS-SHMOLITICS!
By now I am sure you are counting down the hours to when your TV won't be telling you how bad a guy is and who to vote for! What will they do with all that freed up air time!?
As I sat and prayed for our country tonight, some different verses came to mind and I thought I would share them with you as you exercise your freedom to vote, even though, if you are like me and think we should all vote in someone who will put into law, immediately effective that they will no longer be allowing political commercials during election season!
~Proverbs 31:8 "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute."
I can tell you what immediately comes to mind, as I read this verse and think about casting a vote in the morning. The unborn.
~1Corinthians 6:12" Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial". Yeah, big tax breaks and bailouts and stimulus packages and tax credits, may be our main drive in voting for who we vote for, but is that really beneficial? Should we maybe put our morals ahead of what we can gain from whomever takes seat at our capital and promises lower taxes and free puppies, in order to vote more in line with Proverbs 31:8
~Be very careful, do your research and don't just vote based on the fact that your trying to prove your not going to be swayed by fellow Christians, your parents or media. Remember God puts other believers in our life so that they can gently lead us to his word, where we may be wrong, and as this verse warns, 2 Corinthians 11:14:"And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising then that his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness.Their end will be what their actions deserve." Powerful words! God knows who is doing evil , he has all ready taken care of their end. Lets not be a party to the evil that is choking our country of its religious and faith based founding.
How can we keep from being tricked into believing untruths about who we vote for, or how do we keep our eyes off of what we can gain, and think about what our heavenly father can gain, by the right person in office? 1corinthians 16:13 " Be on guard, stand firm in the faith: be men of courage, be strong." If you are strong in your faith, you will not vote because you are trying to prove that you are strong in yourself! You'll vote because your vote means more than christian rebellion and the good old American attitude of ''Well, I deserve the best!" You'll vote where God prompts your heart, to further his kingdom, because either way, as Jesus tells us in Matthew 22:21 " ...give to Caesar, what is Caesars..."
And why would we trust God to such a big task?! Well, because he is a BIG God! He knows all ready who will be in office, he is in control of everything. Our God loves us and will always be our supply, as much as we think it's from or not from our government.Philippians 4:19"My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Jesus Christ."
And probably my favorite verse, that gives me great peace in this election is this gem:
Phil 4:8"Finally brothers, whatever is TRUE, whatever is NOBLE, whatever is RIGHT, whatever is PURE, whatever is LOVELY, whatever is ADMIRABLE- if anything is EXCELLENT & PRAISEWORTHY- think about such things.Whatever you have LEARNED or RECEIVED or HEARD from me, or seen in me- PUT INTO PRACTICE. And the God of peace will be with you."
How reassuring! Gods peace will be with you. What a blessed thing to think on, as you prayerfully make your decision! You won't have the feeling of pride or proving anything or wondering if you are making the right choice. You will have set your mind on the things of above and have great peace in that! What a mighty God we serve!
And finally, this one I encourage you to read as you spend time with the Lord in prayer about this historical day~

                                                                 EPHESIANS 6:10-18
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the power of his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the devils schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh & blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after that you have done everything to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth, buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all of this take up the shield of faith, which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God."

And for goodness sakes! Can't we all just get along?!?!?!?!?!

He knows your name...he sees each tear that falls...

Thought I would share with you what I spoke on at "In our hearts forever" at Riverview Hospital on October 9, 2010. It was a memorial service for anyone experiencing the loss of a child through mis carriage, stillbirth or infant death...

Two years ago life for me would change, so radically, so profoundly, that it would shake me to the core and I never again would be the same person.

You see, I was a mommy of 3 beautiful little girls. I felt overwhelmingly blessed , cherished them and prayed I could be a good mommy to them.
I loved being a mom and after much prayer and consideration, we decided to add another family member, and where so excited to find out we where expecting another baby GIRL!

My excitement grew when I saw her in an ultrasound for the very first time. At 15 weeks she was as wild as she could be! Kicking her long skinny legs and waving her arms. I knew she would fit in with her photogenic sisters.

Soon after that things started to change. I started having very intense cramping on and off, and spotting here and there. All things I never experienced with my other 3 pregnancies. Overall, I felt as though something was wrong.

At 24 weeks, not feeling her move, I was sure my instincts where proving to be true.

I spent the weekend praying..." God give me peace or help me know for sure if something if I should go in and get checked out." I never had that peace, so I went in right away.

My Doctor searched for several minutes, which seemed to be hours, for a heartbeat, finally giving up, sending me to ultrasound, where it was confirmed, our little Jenalyn Marie had died.

Gods plan for our daughters life, was so very different than what we had planned for her.I planned on carrying her full term, delivering her, wrapping her in warm blankets and kissing her soft skin. I planned on watching her grow along side her sisters, hearing her first words, seeing her first steps and kissing her first boo-boo. Instead I was planning her funeral.

What do you do when, "Congratulations on your baby girl" turns to "We are so sorry for your loss" ? I didn't know. I had never in my life experienced such anguish and pain.
My heart was broken beyond repair.
I wanted for nothing more than to hold her once more and never let go.

The only thing I knew to be true, steadfast and never changing was Gods love for me.
I didn't even know what to pray, I just cried, cried and cried some more.

A bible verse that meant so much to me was, " 1 Corinthians 1:3 " Praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles."

Even though I had been feeling a deep pain, I had never experienced, I also felt an incredible peace that drench ted me from head to toe, it caught everyone of my tears and gave me enough strength to make it one more day.
I knew just as much as God was wrapping his arms around me, those same arms where rocking my baby sleeping in heavenly peace.

You see, I know when I die, I will see my daughter again. That peace I had came from the faith I have. I have put my faith in Jesus Christ as my savior. I have the hope of heaven and the promise of eternity.
I do not fear death or its evil sting, the heartbreak or the turmoil it claims on our hearts. No, I can look forward to the day when I meet my savior face to face, behold his glory and majesty.
Then I will ask him, " Where's my little girl, Jesus? Take me to her, I have waited so long."
And when I see her again, I'm going to scoop her up in my arms, smell her hair, hold her close to my chest and tell her over and over again, just how much her mommy loves her.

I want to share with you that there is hope. You can have peace. Even on days when it feels you are drowning in sorrow, God hears your cries and wants for nothing more than to heal your heartache.

1 Peter 5:7 says " Cast all your anxiety (cares) on him,because He cares for you."

And I know this to be true!

There is probably not a minute that goes by that I don't think of our precious Jenalyn. But, with Gods grace, I persevere on and look forward to being with her someday.

On a happy note- 3 1/2 months ago, I gave birth to a 9 lb. 5 oz. beautiful baby girl, named Brooklyn Faith. She is helping heal my broken heart one day at a time, along with my three other wonderful daughters.

I thank God many, many times a day for those little blessings and allowing us to share our loves with little Brookie.
Be encouraged that you will laugh again and God will give you all the strength you need to heal again.

Please pray for me and my dear friend Shelly, who also shared that day, and has also lost a son to stillbirth and had two miscarriages after that. The hospital is trying to put in motion for Shelly and I to have a Support Group there for woman who have experienced the same tragedy in their own lives. As hard as it is for us to talk about, we want to take this terrible circumstance, and turn it around for the Glory of God. We would love to see lives touched and woman come to know Christ through our ministry, so that they could recieve true healing from the Lord.

Put down your husbands razor and nobody gets hurt....

Being more than mommy, being His best friend...
In every season in life, you have to adjust to different things. I grew up with brothers, a very outdoors & tom-boy mom,my hubby had 2 brothers and just one sister, so I guess I was the girl that wasn't to afraid to just be me...
When I was about to deliver my fifth baby girl, I decided I wanted to 'watch it' all happen, in a mirror. Oh, the horror!!! After seeing the miracle of birth, I was truly convinced my husband was the most amazing man EVER for watching that happen 5 times and still stayed married to me! Haha!
That's when I decided, I just HAD to be more lady like!
Here are some things that I put into practice:
-Never use his razor...there are lady razors, for lady parts...let's keep it that way :)
-When you go #2...close the bathroom door and spray! My hubby calls the it "Vanilla poop!" Hahahaha!!! I love it!!
-Exercise! Even if it's just a little bit, he'll be thankful his wife cares enough about herself and HIM to stay healthy, so that you will be around for a long time...plus, it's a great energy booster for a lil' BOOM! BOOM! If ya know what I mean?!?!
-Try to keep that passage of the gassage, to a minimum...or never, in front of him. I used to toot on demand to make my brother and his friends laugh when I was younger...not so attractive to the hubby! :) And the more kids you have, the more squeakers you will have, but just TRY to keep the breeze pleasant around your man.
-And for goodness sakes, ladies!! Would it KILL US to at least slap on a little blush and GET OUT of the sweat pants?? I understand, there are those days...cleaning days, kids are sick days, that time of the month and my jeans don't fit days, but overall, you could at least TRY to get dressed. Just because you are maybe a housewife, doesn't mean you have to look like a run- down house!
I keep a white glitter eye shadow and concealer in my make up bag  for those crazy days. That might be the only thing that makes it on my face, and it may happen ten seconds before he walks through the door, but if my eyes are sparklin' when he comes home, he thinks they are sparklin' for him :)Also, keep some body spray handy, give yourself a 'body spray bath' before he gets home. It sure beats the baby spit smell, that's embedded into your shirt!
-Wash your kid's face, and comb their hair.They are humans, too. Dirty, booger nosed humans.But, never the less, humans.
-Leave him notes of encouragement!
-Stop with the headaches, ladies! I know how hard it is to 'get in the mood' after you've had lil' leaches sucking every ounce of energy out of you all day, but get yourself a shower, shave your pits and rock his world :)You'll be glad you did...Annnnnnd, so will he ;)
-Oh, and...you're kids will NOT DIE if you leave them for a couple hours, a few times a month for a date night!! You did not marry your children. Get out together, have fun and just re-connect! I am implementing a new rule for our date nights...NO WAL-MART STOPS!That is not a date, that is grocery shopping! Haha!
-Every night have a beautiful, gourmet meal prepared! WAIT! X that one off the list, then I would have to practice what I preach,and around here, if you see smoke, suppers done!

                         PROVERBS 31                                             
vs 10..." A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11.Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12.She brings him good, and not harm all the days of her life.
28.Her children arise and call her blessed, her husband also, and praises her.
29.Many woman do noble things, but you surpass them all.

(Check out Proverbs 31 for great Godly woman characteristics and make yourself a goal to reach some these in the next few weeks.)

Me & My Man!

The MaDnEsS of Motherhood

Being a mommy, mom, momma, (all apply here & I hear them about 123,978,994,364 times a day!) is a task and a joy, which one comes first just depends on how long they napped!

Recently, while trying to 'parent' my three year old and feeling a little ( Okay! ALOT!!!) defeated, I questioned if what I am working so hard for with her was even sinking in.

She still bites...check! She still chews the drywall off the wall...check! She still grabs my caffeinated beverages and chugs them as fast as they can be chugged before getting busted...check! She still screams and forgets to use her 'indoor voice'...check! She still helps her self to whatever she wants in the fridge...check! She still stands in the tub...check! She still has the power to drive me NUTS...check!Check! AND check!

Yep, at some point you start feeling like the last 3 years have been wasted in vain!

My three year old has the spirit of a wild horse! It truly is fantastic! She goes from 0-60 in 5 seconds and has the energy of Jillian on "The Biggest Loser". She'll make friends with anyone, does not matter the skin color, race, mental ability, and if you have a cute son, she will propose marriage on the spot!

That being said, as a mom I think it is so important we recognize our children's God given personality and refine the part we think is from the devil ;)
Last time I check, I still haven't reached 'perfection level' and am still pretty far from it...so why am I expecting perfection from my three year old?
Goodness gracious, what if she embarrasses me? What if she says something rude? What if she ...what if she is allowed to embrace who she is, with a loving mommy coach to guide her and help mold that beautiful personality into something that God can use to change the world? Just 'what if?'
How have you viewed your kid's personality? Is it an embarrassment that your child might have a different personality than yours? Or in some cases, we see so much of what we hate about ourselves in our kids we spend countless hours trying to 'teach them' to be the person we are not.
Don't give up on molding your child's heart to be a kind, compassionate, loving little being, but give up on trying to make your kid a mindless statue that has lost all creativity because they are so afraid to express themselves...and a lil' pre-warning, that expression may come as paint on your basement walls!
I will still discipline her when she is naughty, but I will really try to enjoy every piece of that wild child that keeps our house full of fingerprints and empty soda cans.

Friendship

Hmmmmm...friendship. Ask me what it means and different times you could get different answers. After having my first baby, I felt like I really had NO friends. She cried alot. None of my friends had babies, so no one really wanted to be around a screaming child. It was a very lonely, isolated feeling. Other times, I have gone out of my way, bent over backwards and pursued with passion a friendship with some one, because I felt like they seemed lonely. Other times, God has dropped a 'perfect fit' friendship in my lap and it was hardly any effort at all and we stay friends, for what seems like forever! Regardless, one thing I have really tried to put into practice is the old saying (ok- it might not actually be old! Hehe!) 'In order to have friends, one must be friendly'. I LOVE IT!

Unfortunately, in any relationship, you come across problems or issues that need their working through. And the older I get, the more these problems seem too frivolous and irrelevant to what God would want me to be doing with my time and energy.

I have had to put up boundaries and take myself out of poisonous relationships. Now, don't get me wrong, if it's worth it, you make it work! But when you have made it work, again and again and again...and the same result seems to be occurring, that is when the 'red flags' start popping up, and once again, you find your heart broken, from what you thought was a great friendship, but when you look back, you see that there was ALOT more giving on your part and ALOT more taking on theirs!

I am all about doing what you can, helping out and being an active ingredient in your friendships, but when you notice a steady pattern of  rejection, selfishness and DRAMA, you really need to step back and count your losses.

In the Bible, proverbs shares with us a great and powerful verse that should really show you who your 'TRUE' friends are...It says', " A friend loves at all times..."
I have noticed, I do have friends that have loved me at all times...crabby, selfish, angry, gossipy, sinful, just plain-bein'- a - bad - friend TIMES! And thankfully, we grew through those things together and we are still the best of buds, some of those relationships for quite a few years... I won't say how many...that might date me! Haha!

But, the friendships that have fallen to the way side, either because I have seen a consist ant pattern of unloving and selfishness, that leads to the 'drama' I mentioned before, maybe even caused by me, are the friendships that I do not miss.

We are called to be peacemakers, lift each other up with encouragement and just plain be that blessing your friend needed...so, don't be afraid to stop a relationship that is hurting you. Causing you frustration or anger. Forgive. Let go. Still love unconditionally. But, step back and take a breather. We sometimes think because these people are our friends, they should answer to US, but that is far from the truth. Let the love of Christ deal with that persons heart. Be kind, be gracious, be careful. You don't have to be a 'friendship martyr' and lay it all down for someone who is clearly hurting you and causing you much grief.

Try to remember, someday you will have a perfect relationship...in heaven, but until then, guard your heart from the so-called friendships that cause broken hearts and angered hearts. Trust me, You will be alot happier and love them alot more if you step back a little and love from a distance.

A couple of those 'red flags' to look for:
- Finding out that person trash talks you behind your back
- when things don't go their way, you are NO longer a good enough friend for them!
- they have many failed relationships in their lives, but it's NEVER their fault.
- They can't be trusted. You wouldn't share even the smallest if a secret with them for fear it would be on the evening news.
- If there is no drama- they will make it and use you as a pawn in that drama game.